


Welcome Back

by AlvaDomer



Series: Pain is Just Weakness [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlvaDomer/pseuds/AlvaDomer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin's greatest fear has been realized: Eren has become involved, and now he could be in danger. Even worse, Mikasa is too perceptive. But before anything else can happen, Erwin is called to the Southern District, for recruitment, and Armin is invited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Listen

**Author's Note:**

> If you are one of the unfortunate souls who have read my stories, you know the drill. Not this chapter specifically, but this work will contain graphic descriptions of rape. It may be triggering, so please be careful.

Armin’s elbows bounced against Eren’s chest as Eren gave him a piggyback ride to the barracks. “Eren…Eren,” Armin whispered, face buried in his friend’s neck, “please don’t leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Eren growled, straining to look ahead when all he wanted to do was turn around ad put Erwin in his place.

But that was the problem.

Erwin was in just about the highest place there was. Armin could feel when Eren began shaking with rage. “Whoa, what happened?!” a horrified voice called. Through bleary eyes, Armin could still make out Bertholt’s enormous form loping toward them.

“Get Mikasa,” Eren ordered, but blurred vision didn’t keep away those sensations. Those sensations that Armin felt every time a new pair of eyes looked down on him. They were looking at something stupid and weak. Erwin had said it himself. Armin was a slave to his will; a piece of putty for the commander to bend and twist, and when he wanted to, break. Armin’s wrists were swollen red from the rope, but he wasn’t free now that they were gone. No, he and Eren both wore chains. From the instant Eren walked in, they were both draped in invisible shackles; where one went, the other was to follow, consciously or not; when one boy made the wrong move, the other would be forced to suffer. They were trapped, and Armin could feel every pair of eyes stare through those chains and instead burn into him. Accusatory; disturbed; disappointed; disgusted. Everyone saw him as a hopeless failure, a dumb little boy who couldn’t keep his best friend from being dragged into his own personal Gethsemane.

How could he let this happen to Eren? Who knew what the commander would do now that he had both of them wrapped around his finger. Armin could barely hear either of his friends’ voices through that of his own, screaming in his ears. This was his fault. This was all. His. Fault.

“Is Armin okay? It looks like he just got trampled by a horse or-” Bertholt started to sputter, beads of sweat rolling down his temples. Eren reared his head like a cobra.

“Damn it Bertl, just go get my sister!” It wasn’t just rage. There was so much pain in Eren’s voice. Bertholt nodded and rushed off. “Don’t worry Armin, Mikasa will know what to do,” Eren assured Armin softly. But Armin began shaking his head no frantically.

“No, don’t, we can’t,” Armin whimpered. He didn’t give Eren the chance to argue. “If…if he find out that we told her…he’ll kill us both, Eren.”

“Not if I-” Eren started.

“No! Stop doing that!” Armin cried, hitting Eren’s chest weakly. “Erw—the commander isn’t a titan. You can’t kill him without reason, and he was right. It’s our word against his. Who is he going to believe?” Armin’s hands balled up tightly. “Please don’t tell her, Eren…I…I just want to forget it ever happened.”

It took all of Eren’s self-control for him to not bite right through his tongue. “No, to hell with Erwin! I’m not scared of that old man! He couldn’t-” Armin hit him again.

“Listen to me, Eren!” Armin cried weakly. “Because of him, I…I can’t even walk. Please Eren, I’m begging you, don’t do this. Telling will only make it worse and-” his voice cracked, and Armin couldn’t choke out any of his guesses about what that ‘worse’ might actually be.

The clatter of thick-heeled boots echoed off the surrounding walls. The boys looked up and Mikasa appeared around the corner, eyes growing wide at the sight of them. “Eren! Armin!” she gasped, rushing to them. “What happened? Why are you carrying him? Why couldn’t you come get me?” she began shooting off questions rapid-fire.

“It’s fine now,” Eren dismissed bitterly, glowering at the ground.

“But Armin-” she tried.

“Mikasa, I said drop it!” Eren snarled, and Mikasa fell quiet. The trio was enveloped in a smothering, deathly silence. Eren never yelled at her. Sure they fought, but not like that.

Ever.

She stepped back and her face became unreadable. “How can I help?” she murmured plainly.

Eren sighed and shifted his grip, making Armin yelp. “Just…just help me get him to bed.”

…

Mikasa eyed Armin warily as he lowered himself gently down at the breakfast table. Every move he made seemed to be to avoid invisible bruises, and she couldn’t think of a moment during their most recent training when he would have gotten any. She had remained silent for three days, waiting patiently for them to admit everything. But that moment still hadn’t come, and his suspicious behavior had gone on long enough. “Armin, what’s going on?” she asked flatly. When he continued to silently toy with his rations, she turned to Eren. “What’s going on with you two?”

Armin’s heart leapt to his throat. The two of them always told Mikasa everything. What would Eren say? Erwin was a man of his word, and if Eren was the one to tell anyone, then Armin would be the one who…“Nothin’. Armin’s been having bad dreams is all,” Eren explained, face unchanging as he took another bite of porridge calmly.

Mikasa bared her teeth. “Bull-”

“Good morning, you three!” Erwin’s baritone voice called. Mikasa immediately stared in shock when she saw Eren refuse to join them in salute. She didn’t get the chance to ask why, because any words were cut off by her gasp when her eyes met Erwin’s. Five vicious claw marks streaked diagonally across his face, each of them stitched and cleaned neatly. It was no wonder Erwin had not appeared before his troops in the past few days. Mikasa couldn’t imagine how awful those wounds would have looked fresh.

Her eyes narrowed as she watched Armin desperately avoid the man’s gaze. Her final gasp made it clear when Mikasa realized what had happened. The blood she had seen under Armin’s fingernails that night; it had to belong to Erwin. What other than flailing fingernails could cause gashes like that when they weren’t allowed any pets? A horse was certainly incapable of such wounds. Armin’s sudden teary outbursts; his new uniform; his fear of being alone; the bruises on his neck; his strange limp. It all made sense now.

She had always hated Levi, but now Mikasa recognized the real enemy. Levi had to put on an act in front of others, and so Eren’s beating made vague sense. But this man before them now. Could this powerful, trustworthy commander really be a rapist?

“I was wondering if Cadet Arlert could join me for something to eat,” Erwin elaborated nonchalantly, adding, “at ease.” Mikasa’s and Armin’s feet immediately spread shoulder-width, clasping their hands behind their back. But Eren remained unmoved, chest heaving with rage as he began to bring his hand toward his mouth.

“Eren,” Armin whispered harshly, shaking his head no subtly. Eren’s hand stopped halfway and he sighed, slowly closing his mouth as his arm dropped to his side.

“We just sat down. Sorry. He can’t go,” Eren growled instead. Erwin raised an eyebrow.

“Well then, I just came by to tell you that later today I’ll be going back to your old boot camp to speak with the one-hundred-fifth trainee squad. See if I can inspire so new recruits,” he said with a wink. How was he so casual? How could he continue to laugh in the face of his victim?

“What a coincidence!” Eren cried, slamming his hands on the table. “I heard about that! I wanted to go too! I’ll come with you!” He beamed as Armin let out a small sigh of relief.

“That won’t be necessary. Levi actually needs your help today,” Erwin corrected, chin held high as he watched Eren falter. “Go on,” he insisted, eyeing the double doors. “You’re keeping people waiting.”

Before Eren got the chance to argue, Mikasa strode forward. “Then I’ll go,” she snapped, stepping to Armin’s side. She took his hand in her own and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m afraid I’ll need you here. I need your help controlling Eren, after all.” Erwin closed his eyes and tilted his head as he flashed her a patronizing smile. Armin covered his mouth as he hunched forward. He was going to the Southern District? Alone with Erwin? He struggled to swallow his puke. That man was the highest ranking officer in the Survey Corps. There was no way he could argue his way out of this. Erwin opened his eyes and his smile melted. “Armin, are you alright?” he asked, feigning concern with a honey-sweet voice.

“I…” his heart was pounding so loud in his ears he could barely hear himself think. “I’mgoingtoaskHanjitojoinus!” he blurted, dashing from the mess hall.

“That settles that, then,” Erwin said with a shrug, and gave them one last smile. “Remember to behave yourselves. I don’t want Armin to get into some sort of accident because of you,” he murmured darkly, and Mikasa stared straight ahead as Eren fumed.

“Fucking pedophile,” Eren hissed, and spit at Erwin’s feet. Erwin’s sarcastic smile died and he pivoted on his heel wordlessly. As he left, Mikasa could only stare at her brother. Would Erwin actually do something to their friend?


	2. Message Recieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to the Southern District has begun, and Armin is about to be reminded that there are more people to fear than Erwin.

Erwin was the first one to climb into the carriage that to a halt in front of them. “Armin, why don’t you join me?” he asked invitingly.

“Yeah, I’ll just sit with Henning,” Hanji agreed, looking to her squad member as he climbed onto the driver’s bench and took hold of the reins. Dozens of horrifying images immediately began darting through Armin’s brain. The trip was likely to take all day. What would Erwin make him do? What would he do to Armin? Hanji and Henning were both there, but with them outside the cabin, he would still be alone with the commander. With curtains drawn, he would be at the mercy of the larger blond.

“No-no, it’s okay!” Armin exclaimed, releasing a high, dry laugh. “You-you should discuss your latest findings with Commander Erwin! I’ll keep Mister Henning company!” he continued to sputter, and Hanji beamed eagerly.

“Of course, of course! Come on Erwin, we’re burnin’ daylight!” she shouted passionately, and slammed the door behind her. Henning patted the seat beside him with a bright smile.

“Come on up, kiddo,” Henning chirped, leaning down. He took Armin’s hand and helped pull him up beside him. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Armin mumbled, and Henning snapped the reins.

…

Armin couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed this hard. “So there’s Mike and Nanaba stuck upside-down, her boobs are in his face, René is unconscious, I’m pretty sure I was still high, and Hanji is about to ram the pole up the titan’s-” Henning was in the middle of another insane story, hardly getting words out between bursts of laughter, when Armin saw both horses’ ears swivel back. He immediately began skimming the tree line, his own ears twitching, straining for the same sounds. He suddenly heard a, crack! It was too loud for some deer stepping on a twig. No, this was an entire branch falling.

“Stop the carriage!” Armin suddenly cried.

“Whoa, Armin what’s-” Henning started, but Armin launched out grabbed the reins, yanking back. “Relax, kid! Did you see another weird flower to press or some-”

“Something’s wrong!” Armin interrupted, bulging eyes scanning the trees for dangers unknown. 

The carriage door opened, and Erwin stepped out. “What’s going on?” he called, looking back and forth between the panicked boy and the confused young man. Hanji poked her head out after him curiously.

“I-I heard something, and I can feel someone watching us!” Armin persisted, and began to pull the rifle from its rack behind them.

Henning jumped. “Armin, calm down! You don’t-” BANG! A gunshot roared through the forest, and Armin was splattered in Henning’s blood as the bullet tore straight through his head. His lifeless body slumped to the ground.

“HENNING!” Armin shrieked, scrambling for his own gun in a frenzy. But a familiar popping sound rang out, and a 3DMG cable shot past his hand, digging into the center of the rifle. “Three-three D-M-G?” Armin sputtered, his eyes trailing back up the wire in horror.

“Armin, get behind us!” Hanji shouted, bounding out of the carriage. But as Armin leapt down, his legs folded beneath him. When he fell, his heels bit into the bruises on his thighs, and a startled scream burst from his throat.

The blood-spattered boy stumbled to his feet, but he could move no further. He stared at Henning’s frozen eyes, and he couldn’t get himself to take another step. POP! POP! POP! Several more cables shot over their heads and dug into the trees on the opposite sides of the road, landing three masked men on the ground. The same happened on the other side of the rutted path, three more appearing at the left. “We have you surrounded!” a gruff voice called.

Hanji and Erwin both pressed back to back, revealing knives. But neither of them had their own gear. They were simply going to the capital, there was no need to put on the rest of their heavy equipment.

Armin was finally able to peel his eyes away from the dead body long enough to realize the men were getting closer. “Hanji!” he cried, racing toward her. BANG! A bullet whizzed past his ear, slicing off several strands of hair. Again he stood paralyzed, his hand still outstretched toward her and Erwin. At least he couldn’t hurt him while she was around.

But these men could. 

Armin let loose a terrified scream as an arm looped around his waist, clamping his arms to his side. The barrel of a revolver was jammed against his temple. “If you don’t want anything to happen to this pretty little lady right here, drop your weapons,” the apparent leader ordered, and both of them closed their eyes and sighed.

Then both pairs burst open, blue and brown, narrowed with blood lust. As Erwin plunged his knife into one man’s throat, Hanji grappled with another, knocking his rifle out of the way as she shouted, “Erwin!” Instead of going through his heart, the gun was jerked down and the bullet tore through his calf.

He didn’t even make a sound as he dropped to the ground, clutching his leg in silent agony. A gun was aimed at his forehead. This time Hanji did drop the knife.

Armin heard the gun against his own head click and an involuntary whimper slipped through his lips. “You two should’ve done what I asked,” the thug growled, and struck Armin to the ground with the butt of his gun.

“She’s just a kid, Marcel. There’s a fully grown woman right over there! Why not-”

“We’re sending a message,” Marcel hissed, and he knelt over Armin, revealing a mouthful of yellow teeth as he grinned. “How old are you? Twelve?” he mused aloud, unzipping his jeans. “You’re lucky to be with a man like me.”

“Hanji!” Armin cried, reaching from underneath the man’s body desperately. But she was the only one looking away, eyes shut tight as Marcel began tearing at Armin’s pants. “Help me! Help me, please!” he screamed, scratching at the man’s hands. BANG! Again someone’s gun went off. Another wave of blood washed over Armin, and the air rushed out of his lungs as the body collapsed on top of him.

Erwin had suddenly took hold of the muzzle of the rifle, aiming it upward so that when it went off, the bullet flew over his head and directly into Marcel’s. “Shit!” one of the thugs shouted, snarling, “You killed him! Die, you bastard!” As he charged toward them, Hanji delivered a smooth kick to the back of his knees, and the instant the man dropped to the dirt, Erwin put a bullet in his brain. Hanji looked to him and Erwin nodded. He rose up on both feet, his face never changing as he ignored the profuse bleeding. It was as if he didn’t feel pain.

“I’ll take care of the rest,” he murmured, and Hanji made a mad dash, dodging several bullets as she slid through the dust to Armin’s side.

Her hands trembled slightly as she rolled Marcel’s corpse off the boy. Armin was curled into a tight ball, legs crossed tightly as his hands clung to his groin in desperate defense. “Oh Armin—Armin, sweetheart, it’s alright,” she crooned, pulling him delicately into her arms. He dug his fists into her jacket as he cried, and she stroked his hair soothingly, murmuring, “Shhh,” over and over.

Erwin was a vicious blur, whirling and weaving, ducking beneath punches that would instead collide with each other. He hadn’t even broken a sweat when he was standing over all six of the dead bodies, with slit throats, gunshot wounds, or snapped necks.

These were the true abilities of the commander of the Survey Corps.

Hanji stared at Erwin with sad eyes as Armin continued to wail. “I guess I’ll ride ahead and bring back some MPs,” she offered, but Armin’s grip tightened.

“No, please don’t leave,” Armin sobbed. “Please don’t leave me alone with him.” Erwin and Hanji exchanged uneasy glances.

“We’ll deal with it when we get there,” Erwin decided, wrapping gauze around his leg. “For now, I just want you to take care of Armin.” Hanji nodded and helped the boy up, leading him back into the carriage. As Erwin took the reins, she continued to stroke Armin’s hair, humming to him soothingly. When Armin fell asleep, tears were still leaking from beneath his lids.


	3. From One to the Other

“Armin,” Hanji called softly. He immediately snapped upright from her lap. “We’re here,” she explained, and Armin looked out the window. The sun was starting to set over the dry, cracked earth of the boot camp.

 

                “Where’s Mister Henning?” Armin suddenly blurted, glancing left and right. “I-I had the most horrible nightmare.” The sadness in Hanji’s eyes made his blood run cold. “It…it wasn’t a…” he slowly looked down in horror and found that his uniform was still coated in blood.

 

                Hanji had him in another hug before he could scream. “Don’t worry Armin, you’re safe here.” Armin took several deep, uneasy breaths. “We have to go. I need you to be brave, okay?” she asked softly, as if speaking to a small child. Armin gave her a nod and she replied with a sympathetic smile. “Let’s go.”

 

                When they stepped out of the carriage, Erwin was waiting for them, his hands on his hips. “How are you doing, Armin?” Erwin asked, and Armin flinched at the hand on his shoulder. Damn his acting was good. Why would he actually care? It was just another episode that Armin wanted to forget, and having Erwin’s crocodile tears did nothing. But Armin couldn’t just push the commander away in front of all these people.

 

                Training exercises had just broke for the next trainee squad, and seemingly hundreds of eyes stared in shock and surprise at the sight of the blood across Armin’s chest. “Look, it’s Commander Erwin!” star-struck voices whispered to each other in awe.

 

                “Who’s that with him?” people murmured, and Armin felt their eyes burning into him. “Why would the commander bring a kid along?” bitter voices asked. It was if they couldn’t see the winged patches on his shoulders.

 

                “I bet that’s Commander Erwin’s bitch.”

 

                Sucking in a pained gasp, Armin almost stopped walking. But Erwin’s grip led him firmly forward. “She’s cute. He has good taste,” the whispers continued, and the words only continued to grow more foul as they reached the officers’ quarters.

 

                “It’s true,” Erwin sneered as they made their way down the hall. He opened a door that led into another office, sinking into the chair behind the desk.

 

                Armin stayed at the front of the room. An internal war was raging within himself. If he ran now, he might actually make it. Erwin was injured. Under normal circumstances, Armin’s legs would be too short to outrun him. But this time, he could stand a chance.

 

                Erwin cocked an eyebrow at the sight of Armin’s trembling knees. “You,” he murmured, beckoning with two fingers. “Get over here.”

 

                Armin’s heart jumped back into his throat. “I—”              

 

                “That’s an order.”

 

                Armin whimpered as he slowly stepped forward. He didn’t dare defy the older man. He went around the desk and stood in a quaking salute that made him sick. Erwin uncrossed his legs, smiling at the boy hungrily. “Here’s the thing. See, today has been very stressful for me,” he purred, and began to unbuckle his belt; emphasizing the amount of time it took him to unzip his jeans. “I need your help,” he snickered, and Armin’s lower lip began to quiver. “On your knees.”

 

                He stood paralyzed for a moment. But Armin didn’t get a chance to beg. Erwin lurched forward and took a wad of Armin’s shirt, throwing the boy to the floor. Armin shrieked as his head collided with the edge of the desk, and blood began to pour from his temple as his fingers curled into the carpet, desperately trying to stop the room from spinning. Erwin sighed, shaking his head. “You’re a mess,” he grumbled, opening a drawer and pulling out gauze.

 

                Armin couldn’t feel his body as Erwin wrapped the bandage around his head, almost looking disappointed. “You have no right to fight back this time,” he muttered. “I saved your life today. You owe me this.”

 

                As Armin’s eyes lolled in their sockets, Erwin took advantage of his stunned slack-jaw, forcing the boy’s lips around his dick. He grinned at the sensations of Armin’s cheek muscles shuddering against his rock-hard member. Armin could still barely see as Erwin took hold of his hair, bobbing the boy’s head up and down. He couldn’t tell the chair from Erwin’s hips, but he could certainly feel each lustful thrust rub against his uvula. “You’re getting better at this,” Erwin admitted, “but you still choke like a bitch.”

 

                “Yo Erwin, what’cha up to?” Hanji called cheerfully, throwing open the oak door. Erwin paled. He had forgotten to lock it.

 

                “Nothing too exciting,” Erwin sputtered, struggling to keep his voice under control. At the same time, Armin began fighting against his grip furiously. That only made his tongue run over Erwin’s member even faster.  


 

                “Erwin, are you alright? You’re making some pretty stupid faces,” Hanji snorted.

 

                “Don’t worry Hanji, I’m— _mph_ —fine,” he grunted.

               

                “What are you doing?”

 

                _Me!_ Armin wanted to scream. But as if on cue, Erwin shoved his head down over his dick even deeper, ending all attempts for the boy to make any sound.

 

                “I’m just— _ugh_ —finishing this report on today’s incident for Gen-general Shadis,” he explained, face flushing with pleasure.

 

                “Uh, yeah, okay,” Hanji snickered. “By the way, have you seen Armin?” she added curiously. Erwin could only shake his head. If he opened his mouth, Armin was sure he would release a long groan. “M’kay, just tell him I’d like to talk to him if you find him.”

 

                _No-no-no-no-no-no-no_ , Armin thought frantically as he heard the clicking of Hanji’s boots fading. The door shut and Erwin let out a sigh of relief.

 

                “That was a close one, huh?” Erwin began to laugh, but it morphed into another moan. “Let’s see if you can actually keep it down your damn throat this time,” he added, and Armin’s eyes bulged as the taste of pre-cum assaulted his taste buds. His arms still hung uselessly at his sides, numbed by his collision, and Armin could only whimper as the milky substance burst forth. It was if a dam had broken, semen seeking every crevice in his mouth until it found his throat.

 

                Erwin’s pen jerked across the paper in front of him as the last jet of his sperm shot down Armin’s esophagus. It was again leaking from the corners of his lips, dribbling down his chin pathetically. Erwin pulled Armin off him, and a long string of saliva connected them for a moment. But then Armin swayed to the side, coughing vigorously. Finally regaining control of his body, he climbed to his feet, holding onto the desk for support.

 

                “Deliver this report to Shadis, will you?” Erwin asked sweetly, holding out a folder. Armin swallowed and edged forward tentatively. The last time a request like that was made, his pants had ended up around his ankles. He snatched the papers from the older man’s grasp swiftly. As soon as they were in his hands, Armin darted out of the room, heart beating wildly.

 

                It wasn’t until he was standing outside the room that he realized Erwin’s sperm still decorated his face. Holding back tears, Armin wiped at his mouth hysterically, spitting and sputtering. When he was sure the last of it was gone, he stopped in front of the general’s office, knocking on the door.

 

                “Come in!” Shadis’ gruff voice called, and Armin slipped into the room. It was nearly identical, although that wasn’t surprising since this man had also once been a commander.

 

                “I—give this—wanted to—Erwin,” Armin blurted pitifully, motioning weakly to the papers in his hand. Shadis snorted, but said nothing.

 

                Armin let out a startled scream as bells suddenly began to ring throughout camp, and he blushed furiously as the file spilled all over the floor. But there was no way he was going to bend over. It was paranoid and Armin knew it, but somehow he just couldn’t shake this fear. Instead, he and Shadis were enveloped in an awkward silence, both staring at the mess of papers as if they would start doing tricks.

 

                “You’re quite high-strung, cadet,” Shadis finally commented, and Armin let out a shuddering sigh.

 

                “I…I know, I’m sorry, sir,” he mumbled, but still he made no move to pick up the documents. Shaking his head, Shadis finally gave in, collecting the papers from the floor. “I’m um, I’m just going to-” Armin started.

 

                “Oh no, you’re not dismissed.” Armin froze. He recognized that tone. It was aggressive; predatory. It was the signal that he had to get out of there.

 

                “Commander Erwin is expecting me,” Armin tried, but despite his best efforts, his voice still wavered fearfully.

 

                “You think I care?” Shadis’ voice was suddenly hissing in his ear, and Armin screamed as an arm wrapped around his waist. This couldn’t be happening. Wasn’t it supposed to be over? Yet already, he was abused by one commander and thrown against another. It was all happening so fast—why did this happen to him?

 

He didn’t stop thrashing as Shadis shoved his nose into Armin’s hair, inhaling deeply. “You smell nice and sweet, just like a girl,” he mocked. He took hold of Armin’s jaw and forced the boy to look at him. “You know what happens to pretty boys like you in the military? I’m going to show you, boy.” The terror in Armin’s eyes did nothing to persuade the general. His hand sunk between Armin’s knees, and the boy instantly began to squeal, fighting even harder against Shadis’ grip. He caught Armin’s forearm and purred, “I’m going to put your body to good use, cadet.”

               

                He wasn’t called Armin. No, never Armin. Always boy. Or cadet. That’s what he was, right? Not a human with a name. Those came attached with thoughts and feelings, but when two short words were thrust together, he became assembly line, something the military mass-produced.

 

                Child soldier.

 

                It was easier to do something like this to him, right? Like a prisoner referred to by numbers, it helped stave off any emotional attachment. It would be troublesome for Shadis to have his dick shoved up the boy’s ass only to suddenly realize what he was doing was rape. Throwing names out the window helped stop that from happening.

 

                “What’s the matter, kid?” Shadis grunted, guiding Armin’s hand to his straining crotch, “Why are you fighting back?”

 

                “I-I-” Armin sniffled, and let out a pained cry as he was slapped so hard his head snapped to the side. With his free, trembling hand, Armin dabbed at his face to find he was bleeding from a split lip.

 

                “What’s the problem, huh?” Shadis sneered, “Am I not good enough for you?” Armin whimpered as his fingers were dragged between the general’s legs. The insane, desperate throbbing made it feel like Shadis had a second heartbeat straining to break free from behind his zipper. “Look at yourself—it’s pathetic. They must be desperate if the Survey Corps is taking sniveling little pussies like you,” he laughed. “Need me to be wearing those ‘wings of freedom’ to fuck you? Is that it?”

 

                “I-I don’t like it,” Armin whispered, his voice constricted with dread.

 

                “Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho, you don’t like it! Well then _excuse me_ for needing a nice piece of ass now and again!” Shadis cried, each word dripping with poisonous sarcasm. He took hold of Armin’s hair and threw the boy to the floor, eagerly unbuttoning his pants. When Armin tried to crawl away, Shadis stomped a boot down onto his back, pinning him against the ground as if he were trying to squash a bug. “Did you think you think you’d be fucked by someone who loved you? Try to save yourself for the honeymoon; wanted to wait to give it to some dumb bitch on your wedding night?” As fat tears began rolling down Armin’s face, Shadis snorted. “Goddamn, you’re worse than a girl. Well guess what? You’re not some special little snowflake. You don’t get to wait. I’m going to fuck you senseless, and I don’t care if you enjoy it.”

 

                Armin’s short gasps turned into panicked sobbing. “Please sir, don’t! Please-please-please don’t!” he begged, but his voice dropped off as he heard the rustle of fabric, and the clink of Shadis’ belt as his buckle hit the ground. “No! NO!” he squealed, clawing at the floor frantically.

 

                Shadis’ brain wasn’t the only thing that liked being called sir. “At least you kept your discipline. I did something right during training,” he snickered, pulling Armin onto his knees. He couldn’t breathe as he stared straight at Shadis’ manhood. It was shorter than Erwin’s but thicker. And it was actually twitching like a living thing with a mind of its own, as if it could sense Armin’s presence. “Ever given a handjob before?” Shadis asked lazily, again catching Armin’s wrist in a grip so tight he was sure Shadis was trying to break it.

 

                Armin shook his head in silent terror. “Well then, I remember you were fast learner. And there’s no time like the present to pick up something new,” Shadis laughed. With that, he began running Armin’s hand up and down his shaft. A groan escaped his lips almost instantly. Armin was one of few whose palms were still not coated in calluses, and he could tell Shadis was enjoying every sickening second of his touch. Shadis glanced down and jerked Armin’s head up so that the boy could look at him. “You’re supposed to actually wrap your hand around it, moron,” he growled impatiently, and delivered another unforgiving slap.

 

                No matter how much he twisted, Armin couldn’t wrench his arm free. A shudder shot through his entire body as his trembling fingers took Shadis’ member in their grasp. His hand ran across every pulsing vein as Shadis forced the first official stroke. “See, was that so hard?” Shadis sniggered, and he continued to run Armin’s hand up and down his engorged member. He suddenly let go, cooing, “Now you try.”

 

                Released, Armin tried to jerk away, but Shadis had a fistful of his hair in an instant. “I don’t think you fucking get it,” Shadis snarled. “You’re mine, understand? You’re supposed to be some sort of genius, so get it through your thick skull that you’re not leaving until I say so. Now if you can’t use your brain, then at least use your damn hands.” Armin’s entire body was quivering as he slowly reached up. “How long does it take to grab a dick? Fucking hell,” Shadis hissed, and he grabbed both of the boy’s forearms, shoving Armin’s hands around the middle of his member and dragging them in opposite directions. “Now you make it wet,” he explained mockingly, pulling Armin’s hands back off. Instead, he jammed into the boy’s mouth, thrusting back and forth for several seconds. It was if he didn’t even notice Armin’s head had just been split open. Shadis’ face twisted only with disgust as he watched Armin arch his back, gagging violently. “Breathe through your nose, you dumbass,” Shadis spat. He pulled out and yanked Armin’s fingers back around his cock. He continued to force Armin to switch back and forth, stroking his shaft one second then thrusting back into his mouth.

 

                Finally he pulled out one last time, and Armin flinched as his face was again laced with cum. Both of them were panting hard. “Please just let me go now,” Armin pleaded softly, running the back of his hand across his cheek. He stared at the semen with a mixture of shock and horror.

 

                “Nah, not yet,” Shadis sneered, and Armin let out a terrified cry as he yanked off the boy’s jacket. He took hold of Armin’s shirt collar and ripped the material open as Armin began clawing at his arms wildly. The older man dropped to his knees, easily tearing off the boy’s pants as he screamed. “We have plenty to—”

 

                Shadis’ eyes widened and Armin’s face drained any color. He knew what the older man was seeing: enormous hand-shaped bruises, shining black and purple against his pale thighs. There were two more at the top of his bony hips. “I-” Armin started.

 

                “Holy shit!” Shadis cried. “You’ve already been tapped!” Armin let out a sob. “Judging by the tears, you didn’t want it last time either,” he leaned in so he could add in his ear, “did ya’?”Armin started crying even harder, his shoulders shaking from the force. “Who was it? That abomination, Eren?” he guessed, as if it were a fun little game. “That Kirchstein brat?” he paused for a moment. “Or was it one of your commanding officers? Lance Corporal Levi, maybe? That weird bastard that smells people?” He snapped his fingers when Armin gasped at the name, “Commander Erwin?” Shadis began to laugh. “So that self-righteous prick beat me to you. Tell me, how’d he do it?” He nipped at Armin’s ear, making him whimper. “Did he bend you over his desk and fuck you unconscious? Maybe he dragged you into a closet and fucked you in the dark. Or did he fuck you against a wall like this?” with emphasis, Shadis slammed Armin against the stone blocks, a dull thud resounding as his head made contact.

 

                “He—no, I-” Armin blubbered. Shadis delivered a vicious slap, and as Armin yelped, he grabbed the backs of the boy’s knees. “Stop!” he cried as Shadis hoisted Armin’s legs off the ground, forcing them around his hips. He pressed up even tighter against the blonde, and Armin trembled as he felt the older man’s member throb against his gut. “Why are you doing this?!” he wailed.

 

                “How couldn’t I?” Shadis snorted. “Why do you act so surprised? With a figure like yours, you’re asking for it, you fucking tease. You’ve got eyes I’m dying to see fill with tears. That pretty voice I want to hear turn to screams. You don’t think I’d actually want you because you’re worth anything, do you?” he sneered. Pinning Armin’s wrists above his head, he continued, “You haven’t even finished going through fucking puberty. Why would anyone want you because they’re impressed?”

 

                Whatever Armin was about to say was broken by a shriek of pain. Shadis pulled back and rammed forward violently. “You didn’t actually believe those things Erwin told you, did you?” he sneered as Armin’s scream jumped several octaves, tears bursting from his eyes as they glazed over in agony. “What kind of bullshit did he tell you? That he’d never met some brat so smart? That you’ve got ‘ _potential_ ’? That you’ll last for more than five fucking seconds outside the walls? I can’t believe you bought that,” he leaned in and purred, “and look where that fucking got you.”

 

                Armin’s chest was heaving as he slammed his head against the wall over and over. Anything to distract himself from the pain of Shadis’ cock tearing into his anal cavity. He struggled to kick, but the older man had a firm grip on his legs. With each thrust, Armin was grated against the wall. He could feel the tender flesh along his spine getting ripped off his back. As he struggled, Shadis twisted his legs even higher, even further apart. “Damn, are all you army brats this flexible?” Shadis grunted, another scream rippling through the air as the blood from Armin’s back began leaking down the stone.

 

                Shadis dug his fingernails into Armin’s palms, groaning with pleasure as the heat from Armin’s tortured rectum continued to envelope his dick. Combined with the muscles spasming around his tool, Shadis could no longer hold back. “Oh hell yes,” he moaned, and he jammed even deeper to release his sperm into the boy.

 

                The cum dripped from Armin’s anus, back down Shadis’ member, and onto the floor. “Thanks, slut,” Shadis sneered, and he dropped the boy carelessly. All three layers of flesh along Armin’s vertebrae had been completely ripped off, and the scarlet rivers pooled on the ground beside him. “Stop crying, it’s pathetic. You should be used to this by now.” Shadis delivered a sharp kick to Armin’s stomach, and his vocal chords had been so abused that his scream was a harsh rasp. “You don’t deserve to call yourself a soldier.” Armin couldn’t think of anything to say.

 

                He slowly uncurled from his ball on the floor, surrounded by a puddle of semen and blood. He sat up delicately, staring through the ground with teary eyes. After fixing his belt, the general strolled over to a dresser. He opened a drawer, revealing stacks of crisp new uniforms. “Pick one and get out,” Shadis snapped, wadding up the remains of Armin’s clothes. When he opened the trash can, Armin saw the scraps of other uniforms piled up, waiting to be incinerated with the rest of the garbage.

 

                Armin gasped. He wasn’t the first, and he most likely wouldn’t be the last. “Go on,” Shadis growled. “Go find that psychopath. He probably needs a good suck from his mini-me. We’ve still got an hour before his presentation.” Armin broke and began to wail. But no help came. In the end, it never did.


	4. We'll Figure Something Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin finally get's to go back home. But there is no solution awaiting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the ending of this story has to be so dissatisfying, but it's not the end of the series. The trio still has the seventh circle of Hell to walk through.

                All standing at ease, Hanji stared at Armin out of the corner of her eye. She stood beside him, and as Erwin jabbered on about ‘bravery’, ‘honor’, and the ‘hope of humanity’, she couldn’t ignore the boy’s trembling knees. “Armin, are you okay?” she whispered, and Armin shrugged, averting his gaze. Shadis glared at them as they ignored Erwin’s speech.

 

                “We’ll talk later, okay?” Armin shook his head but she gave him a little nudge with a warm, sympathetic smile. She wasn’t about to let him pretend nothing was wrong, and Armin knew it.

 

                “Remember that we are all here for something much bigger than ourselves. You will all have to make sacrifices,” Erwin continued, and Hanji opened and closed her hand behind her back mockingly. _Blah, blah, blah_.

 

                “Pffft,” Armin struggled to contain his giggle, and he couldn’t figure out how the two of them hadn’t been sent off the stage already.

 

                By the end of his speech, Erwin had reduced several trainees to fearful tears. “I think you were a bit harsh,” Hanji muttered, raising her eyebrows as she jumped off the platform.

 

                “They need to understand that the military is not a game,” Erwin replied sternly, and Hanji looked at Armin and rolled her eyes.

 

                “You need to loosen up,” Hanji laughed. “Go bother Shadis. Get a drink, and go try to have a good time for once. Besides, I need to talk to Armin.” If he was afraid of what Hanji might start asking the boy, his face didn’t betray him.

 

                “Fine. But I expect him back in one piece tomorrow.”

 

                “Of course!”

 

…

 

                “Alright Armin, tell me what’s going on,” Hanji murmured, placing a cup of tea in front of him. When Armin opened his mouth, she wagged a finger in front of his face. “And no lying to me now.” He stared at his reflection in the warm beverage. “Okay,” she sighed, “what happened to your head?” Silence. “Where were you earlier? I couldn’t find you all day.”

 

                “Commander Erwin made several requests of me, so I was carrying them out,” Armin replied without hesitation. “Afterwards, Shadis required my assistance as well,” he added. Armin struggled not to grimace at his own words. They sounded so formal; so rehearsed.

 

                Hanji wasn’t stupid, he knew that. But he flinched as he was suddenly embraced. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” she asked softly, and Armin nodded into her shoulder. “Come talk to me when you’re ready, okay?”

 

                “O…okay,” came his muffled reply.

 

                “You seem tired. Try and get some sleep, Armin.” He had almost forgotten what it sounded like to hear his own name. She was truly and sincerely calling him by his name. She was it. She was someone who actually cared. Hanji’s eyes widened as he began sniffling into her jacket. “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. Those men today? They can’t hurt you anymore.” _No, you don’t get it. There are more. There are more men hurting me. I…I can’t do anything about it and I’m scared. I’m scared, Hanji. I’m so, so scared._

 

                Armin sunk his teeth into his finger to keep from sobbing. A hand left his back to stroke his hair. The instant fingers ran over his scalp, Armin let out a bloodcurdling shriek, shoving back and falling out of his chair. “Don’t touch me!” he was suddenly screaming. People only grabbed his head to hurt him, he knew that. He wasn’t _that_ stupid either. But he was dumb enough to believe for a second that she meant well. He couldn’t trust anyone. He just wanted Eren. He wanted Eren and Mikasa and to go home.

 

                “Armin, Armin honey, calm down,” she tried, but Armin was inconsolable, a trembling, tearful mess as he scooted away from her.

 

                “Don’t! Leave me alone! Don’t touch me!” he continued to wail. “Don’t-don’t-don’t!”

 

                “Okay, okay, don’t worry! I won’t touch you anymore, I promise,” Hanji insisted, backing away to prove her point. “But I’m not going to leave. In fact, I’ll stay with you for the rest of the night. Is that alright with you?”

 

                Armin was hyperventilating audibly. If she stayed, Erwin or Shadis couldn’t do anything. But would she do something? Maybe…maybe she didn’t mean to grab his hair. Finally he gave her a small nod. “Don’t worry, I’m going to make sure you’re safe.”

 

                Another word he could hardly remember.

 

                _Safe_.

 

…

 

                Armin remained silent the entire ride back to Survey Corps headquarters. But Hanji didn’t try to push him to talk. She reached forward cautiously, delicately taking his hand in her own. He didn’t even react. She ran her thumb over the back of hand. That was all.

 

                His eyes lit up as they pulled into the courtyard, Eren racing to the carriage. The brunette ripped the door open. “Hi E-” Armin started, but Eren jumped on the stepladder, practically dragging the boy out.

 

                “Don’t break him,” Hanji joked, but her smile died at the sight of Eren’s eyes, haunted by absolute panic.

 

                “Sorry Hanji, we have to talk,” Eren dismissed mindlessly, and Armin passed an apologetic look over his shoulder as he was led away by the hand.

 

                Eren charged into the empty barracks, spinning Armin around. “Tell me everything,” he demanded instantly. His eyes were already welling with tears as he looked at the blonde fearfully. “Tell me; did that bastard hurt you?!” Armin’s poker face broke. It hurt so much just trying to control his own expression, but Armin felt his cheeks burn as his jaw unclenched against his will. Squeezing his eyes shut, he couldn’t fight back the tears as he let out a long sob. Once he started, he couldn’t stop nodding.

 

                “Fucking _DAMN IT!_ ” Eren roared, spinning and driving his fist into the wall. The wooden panel splintered around his knuckles.

 

                Hiccupping, Armin wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “Eren…it’s okay,” he sniveled, hugging himself tightly.

 

                “No Armin, this is not okay! The way that asshole is abusing his power—we have to do something!” he closed his eyes, and suddenly Eren’s voice became much more vulnerable. “…Damn it…there has to be something…”

 

                “Like what?” Mikasa asked, stalking through the door.

 

                “At least try to be subtle when you sneak in here,” Eren grumbled. She stared at the crater still around Eren’s fist. “It fucking happened again,” he muttered. That was his only attempt to explain the splinters biting into his skin; the fresh hole in the wall. He didn’t need to elaborate on ‘it’.

 

                “Eren!” Armin gasped in horror.

 

                “You know she already figured it out,” Eren muttered, and Armin sighed, his face dropping into his hands. “Mikasa knows us both like the back of her hand.”

 

                “I know,” Armin groaned between his fingers. “I…just…”

 

                “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Mikasa murmured soothingly.

 

                “Yeah, don’t worry Armin! We’ll figure out a way to out that bastard once and for all!” Eren snarled, eyes aglow with bloodlust.

 

                “It…it wasn’t just Erwin,” Armin whimpered, and then burst back into tears.

 

                Eren and Mikasa looked at each other.

 

                “Shit.”


End file.
